She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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