She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
