it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
