just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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