So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
