and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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