id be glad to
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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