two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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