her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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