The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
3 2 1 whiskey
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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