I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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