I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
