My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize