I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize