Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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