your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize