My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize