Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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