Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
