Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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