When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
