just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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