My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
