dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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