Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
