I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think your dad took our porno
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
