Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
