Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
