I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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