I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
