Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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