Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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