Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My pussy is not your playground.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver