i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.