Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.

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(207): View more from Maine

Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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(260): View more from Indiana

I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(252): View more from North Carolina

just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning

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(914): View more from New York

I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story

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(628): View more from California

He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.

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