Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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