i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
