i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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