Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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