Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
