Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
