He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
