Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
