this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
