Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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