Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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