Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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