the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
