Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
