Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
