you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
