I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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