I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
