so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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