come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
