I just pynch a tree in the face
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
