I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
